Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Do you read your partner's WhatsApp messages?

First of all,  lemme make it clear that I don't ever check my partner's phone, her pictures, WhatsApp, Facebook, etc.



Why don't I do so???  I don't care one bit, what my partner has on her phone, WhatsApp, or Facebook. I prefer to trust my partner totally, be totally ignorant and stand the risk of being deceived, than breach my partner's privacy.

My beloved once asked if she could go through my WhatsApp messages, I reacted strongly, and said she shouldn't. In fact I forbade her from ever going through my WhatsApp messages.

 Why would I do something so harsh, which might cause me endless nights of nagging??

I believe that always, the underlying factors should be dealt with. 

I prefer that you tell me upfront that you are Feeling insecure,  jealous or whatever, rather than going through my pictures or messages, trying to snoop for information.

Am I supposed to keep password on my own phone so that my partner does not go through?
Do you think it is right to keep a password on your phone when in a relationship?

I know that someone may argue that if you are in a relationship leading to marriage, you should not have any secrets. However,  I grew up in a family where my mum or dad,  or brother,  have never seen my nakedness, since I hit the age of 12. Needless to say, privacy is highly appreciated in my family.  Having grown up with this mentality,  I feel very violated if anyone, tries to intrude into my private space, for any reason.
I feel like I'm being raped. Please, ladies, and guys,  if you are also in the habit of doing so, don't ever snoop through your partner's phone, seeking answers to your suspicions.  It's never healthy. If I find out that you did it behind my back, the feeling you give me is that you don't trust me. I have learned the hard and bitter way that where there is no trust in a relationship,  the relationship is as good as dead.

If you think your man is close to a certain lady and that gets you worried,  I  would advise that you go and talk to him in a non-accusatory tone and calmly explain to him the effect of his closeness to another of the opposite sex, on you.
Mostly, if you go snooping for information, you are likely, to find trouble. After finding the trouble, how do you go about addressing it,  since you were not supposed to be snooping in the first place???

Do you now suffer quietly and drift further and further apart???  That's why I insist that the solution is not checking his personal information, but having a heart to heart talk. If you feel neglected, less loved,  jealous, insecure, say so. If you are able to talk about this aspect of your relationship with maturity, I believe that you would be a stronger couple.

I know that I'm not the authority on relationships and so if you have any differing opinion,  feel free to make your comments known. Have you ever snooped on your partner,  did it result in anything positive?